The Story of The Name

Welcome to Virtual KAPstone House

Serving the Joplin, Missouri Community since 2004
Serving the Fourstates of Missouri, Oklahoma, Kansas and Arkansas
Please feel free to contact us by e-mail -- kapstonehouse@sbcglobal.net
Last Updated: May 10, 2008
KAPstone House is a 501 (c) 3 and contributions are deductible as allowed by law.
©2004 - 2008 KAPstone House is neither a professional counseling service nor a medical organization; we offer peer support only. Information, ideas, or suggestions made by those associated with KAPstone House should not be considered legal advice or used in the place of a qualified professional.

KAPstone House...from the Founder

By: Kris Paapanen

The Name…KAPstone House^TM
By: Kris Paapanen, Founder - December 2003
I began thinking of a name for the grief center I wanted to start in the Joplin, Missouri Area. I wanted to make the name a tribute to my sister, Kimberly Anne Paapanen, because of her incredible compassion and love for children. She would have loved this program. Words starting with KAP were a thought pattern and when a friend suggested to me the word Capstone, but change the Cap to KAP, a name was born.

Capstone -- n.
1. The crowning achievement or final stroke; the culmination or acme.
2. The top stone of a structure or wall also known as a coping stone

A crowning achievement I thought. Then my friend said, “A crowning achievement and a legacy to your sister.” Tears welled up in my eyes.

I pondered the name for some time and the more I thought about the name KAPstone House; the more it seemed to fit. The journey through grief is, in a way, a crowning achievement. As time passes you think to yourself, “How did I get through that time?” But yet, here I am.

A person comes through grief a different person and has learned a great deal about themselves and the world around them. I know, personally, I have learned more about what is important to me since my sister died than during any other time of my life.

There is a second definition for capstone, which also fits the grieving process. The definition is the top stone of a wall, or a coping stone. We all know that words get new meanings every day.

Through the grief process “coping” is part of what children and adults learn to do. The best way to cope is to have people around you in similar situations. That is exactly what KAPstone House is all about. Helping children and their families learn how to cope with the feelings and emotions which come with grief and come out at the end with a feeling of understanding and peace.

In Loving Memory...
Kimberly Anne Paapanen
1971-2000

Journey to a Dream…Life’s Stepping Stones
The March 2000 Stepping Stone…by: Kris Paapanen, Founder - December 2003

I moved to Kansas City in March of 2000 to start a new job. I “chose” this Stepping Stone as part of my life’s path. It was exciting and new and it was spring in Kansas City.

In September of that same year, my sister died. This was an “Unchosen” Stepping Stone of Life. (I always have to remind myself that some stepping stones are chosen and some are not.) This Stepping Stone was thrown in the middle of the stream (after a violent storm) and, through no choice of my own, I jumped on. This was the Grief Stepping-Stone. I had been in Kansas City for all of about 6 months and, unbeknownst to me, the biggest challenge of my life was ahead. Somehow, I knew I needed to find a support group. I found Solace House, “A Center for Grieving Children and their Families” – located in Kansas City. Even though I did not fit exactly as a “children and their families”, Solace House opened their arms me.

So I jumped on the “Grief Support” Stepping-Stone… I started going to Grief Support Meetings at Solace House and it made me feel like I was not alone anymore. There were others going through this same horrible grief journey. There were others that were having the exact same feelings and emotions I was having. It was absolutely the best thing I could have done for myself.

I went to the Grief Support Groups through about 2 sessions (32 weeks) and decided I wanted to stay involved in Solace House because it was such a wonderful program. So I stayed on as a Volunteer Facilitator and worked in the Sky Room with the 5-8 year olds. We would do art projects, read books, watch grief related videos, and listen to music to help them work through their grief process. It is just fascinating and amazing to see these kids learn to understand their feelings and to see they are not alone. They talk to their new friends who are going through the same turmoil that they are. It seems gives them a sense of belonging and, I believe, hope. Hope that things will get better and maybe they won’t always feel quite so lost.

I have now decided I am ready to jump on Life’s next Stepping-Stone… “To start a grief center for children and their families in the Joplin Area.” It is another large jump, but one I have chosen. I want others to know the feeling of support, love and hope that comes from a house such as KAPstone House. I want this same, much needed service in a part of the world that means a lot to me. KAPstone House… A place where people can go when their world falls apart.

“2007 - Hearts and Stepping Stones”

By: Kris Paapanen, Founder - January 2007

Imagine for a moment… You are the edge of a great unknown and you look to see if there is a bridge but you see nothing… do you leap? You look to see if there are any stepping stones… do you step? Do you take the leap or step of faith? You could be over dirt or water or you could be at the edge of an abyss. What do you do?

Well I took the step (some say the leap) of faith. This step was a slogan of “2004 – Dream to Reality” and a short letter to explain the stepping stones of my life and the next stone I wanted to step on. I knew in my heart what I wanted for the Joplin Community and with one step KAPstone House was born. What happened with this step and very little explanation was amazing. The beginning founders of KAPstone House were born and they believed in it with just my vision and dream. Alas the Founders of KAPstone House were born. I could never have guessed that by taking my one “step onto life’s next stepping stone” that so many other people would put their stepping stones out there to help.

Along with this step came heart. I wanted the heart to symbol people handing out there heart to help one another. The heart I see today within the community of KAPstone House is a heart of courage, strength and honor of charity for others and themselves. The strength of “heart” to get through grief is not known to us at the time or for many years to come. I could never have guessed when I created the logo of KAPstone House that the “Heart” would be the strength of “heart” of the “stepping stones.”

What I have found is that the vision to get from one side to the other side of a journey is made by the “Hearts and Stepping Stones” of yourself and others. It is all of these stepping stones, when put together, that build the bridge of faith. It is this bridge that gets us over the hurdles of life, sometimes unknown to us at the time. It is these “Hearts and Stepping Stones” which have the bridge of faith upon which the “Foundation” of KAPstone House has been and will continue to be built.

In my eyes, every person and I do mean “EVERY” person - who has touched KAPstone House, from children’s groups, families and individuals who have attended, volunteers, friends, family, to every single person who has put in a second of charitable time into KAPstone House is a Founder of KAPstone House. Sometimes something as small as a kind word or a dollar donation has made the difference to others in the Joplin community. In the past three years the “Hearts and Stepping Stones Founders” from the Joplin community (and beyond) have come from deep within the soul. This heart has been shown through the hours upon hours of blood, sweat and tears, the boulders and storms that have been thrown in our way, and the many stepping stones which sunk into the mud so we could get our feet wet.

The best way I know to honor these “Hearts and Stepping Stones Founders” is to nominate KAPstone House as The Joplin Area Chamber of Commerce’s Non-Profit Business of the Year. With this submission I hope to bestow an honor upon each and every person who has touched and offered their “Hearts and Stepping Stones” to KAPstone House’s beginning and future.

I want to thank each and every person who has made up all of the “Hearts and Stepping Stones” that have given KAPstone House this foundation for the future. This has been shown by the hundreds of people who have listened to my dream and to the hundreds of grieving hearts who have had the courage to call KAPstone House in their darkest hours.

How long does it take to build the foundation of a sound structure? In today’s fast paced world maybe a week, a month, but even on large buildings no longer than a year. In the ancient world it could take generations. At KAPstone House it takes “Hearts and Stepping Stones”.

So imagine for a moment…

Kris Paapanen

One of many “Founders” of KAPstone House